


The Great Poop Fiasco

by tinypeckers



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-30
Updated: 2015-08-30
Packaged: 2018-04-18 02:51:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4689644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinypeckers/pseuds/tinypeckers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are rules in the house for the reason and when they're broken, punishment is dealt. (Or the one where Gavin poops)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Great Poop Fiasco

**Author's Note:**

> *comes back with a poop joke*
> 
> Really, do you think I'd ever come back with a classy piece? Pftch, poop is where the heart is.
> 
> Leave prompts in the comments or on my tumblrs pls!
> 
> 2kficteen.tumblr.com / tinypeckers.tumbler.com

Gavin had made a mistake. He had thought that he was being cheeky. Gavin had gone into this believing that he could get away with it. However like many of his plans this one had fallen through as soon as he’d conducted it. Now Gavin was left like a sitting duck, perched upon his porcelain throne. He’d committed the crime and now Gavin was certainly doing the time. You see, in their house they had a rule. No pooping in the upstairs bathroom. The reason for this was that it was way too close to the bedroom for anyone to be comfortable with. The rule had been made shortly after their first night when a mystery pooper had left a bomb in the bowl. It had been decided then and there that when it came to a number two, you did not come upstairs.

 

 

But Gavin, being Gavin, had completely disregarded the rule. Nobody else was upstairs with him and Gavin had thought that he could get away with it. The girls had gone out to do some last minute grocery shopping as while it had been Michael and Gavin’s turn not a few days ago, they had forgotten almost all of the essentials. At the time it had been funny to find that they had forgotten the bread, kitchen roll and washing up liquid amongst other important things. Now Gavin saw the error of his ways when he reached for the toilet roll and his hands grasped at air. Lindsay and Meg weren’t going to be back for a long, long time. Michael and Gavin were quick when they went shopping at the expense of a few items but Meg and Lindsay took forever to get everything off of their list and more.

 

 

Gavin knew that downstairs they had the emergency roll. He knew that, had this been a piss, he could have shook himself and shimmied back down to give it a safety wipe. That wasn’t an option with a poop. Gavin had only one option. He had to ask Michael to grab him some and risk being yelled at for not following one of their few house rules. There was one thing that Gavin had planned ahead when he’d snuck into the upstairs bathroom and that was his entertainment. Beforehand Gavin had been lounging in the bedroom, phone in hand and severely engrossed in some new viral video that had been sweeping reddit. He didn’t see a point in pausing it just to poop and he had taken it with him to the bathroom. Now it was his only life line.

 

 

Gavin brought the phone to his ear after hitting number three on his speed dial (Geoff being one, Griffon being two, Meg being four and Lindsay five respectively) and waited for his boyfriend to answer with baited breath.

“What do you want, I’m like right downstairs.” Michael answered rather rudely. There was no greeting and now warning that he’d actually picked up until his voice almost startled Gavin off of his seat. Gavin could tell that Michael had crammed the phone underneath his shoulder because of how close it was to his mouth. Gavin could hear the TV and his thumbs as they wriggled the controller.

“Michael, I need you to bring me some bog roll.” Gavin said. He was already close to whining. “I’m upstairs.” Gavin added for clarification. Michael already knew that they were out but he’d be annoying as hell at any chance Gavin presented to him.

 

 

“So? How is that my problem? Just shake and make a break for it.” Michael said. That was what he would do and something that Gavin had done countless of times. Michael had often caught him on the way down, smirking and blocking the way as Gavin begged him to let him pass.

“Michael, I can’t shake this one.” Gavin said. Michael frowned.

“Are you asking for some help? I’m not touching your dick with a ten foot pole.” Michael scoffed.

“You weren’t saying that a few nights ago…” Gavin teased despite his precarious position.

“Gavin, shut up. I’m not coming to shake your dick for you. This was the worst pick up line in the entire world.” Michael said over dramatically. Gavin rolled his eyes.

 

 

“Michael please, I don’t need you to shake my dick for me right now. I just need you to get me some bog roll.” Gavin begged. Michael snorted.

“It’s toilet roll but really, what’s so hard about giving it a little shake? You’ve done it before.” Michael reminded him. Gavin groaned. He had to tell him. His boyfriend was going to be mad at him and Gavin was most likely going to be banned from the upstairs bathroom but this was urgent.

“Michael, I can’t shake the poop from my anus.” Gavin said quietly. Michael was silent on the other side of the phone and then there was a long, heavy exhale.

“Are you telling me you took a shit in the upstairs bathroom?” Michael yelled.

“It was more like a dollop…” Gavin defended himself.

 

 

Michael hung up on him. Gavin was about to yell and ring him back but he heard the stomping of feet on the stairs and wished that he hadn’t called Michael at all. There was no warning as the door was shoved forcefully open. Gavin hadn’t thought to lock it because he’d thought he would have been in and out like a sneaky ninja. He covered his private area with both of his hands, leaving his phone to drop to the side of the toilet. Michael stood in the doorway with his arms folded across his chest and his shoulder resting upon the door frame. Gavin tried not to snicker as Michael’s nose wrinkled at the smell.

“Michael,” Gavin hissed in embarrassment. Michael disregarded his protest with a shrug. “You didn’t even bring me the bog roll.” Gavin whined. How could Michael come upstairs without the very thing Gavin needed him for?

 

 

“Why should I bring you that? You broke the rules. You’re going to have to wait until the girls come back.” Michael smirked. Yes, that was the perfect punishment for Gavin. He could sit here and wait until everyone came home to witness his crime.

“But Michael they could be ages!” Gavin complained. He couldn’t remember when Meg and Lindsay had left but he knew that it had been a while.

“Ah well, I guess you’ll be sitting here for ages.” Michael said before he turned to leave.

“Michael!” Gavin cried out exasperatedly as his boyfriend disappeared around the corner and out into the hallway. “Michael, at least close the door.” Gavin said.

“Nah, you can do that yourself.” Michael replied. Gavin was so, so screwed.

 

 

oOo

 

 

“I can’t believe you flipped an old lady off.” Meg giggled as she unlocked their front door.

“She deserved it, that bitch cut me off.” Lindsay reminded Meg. The shorter girl shrugged and side stepped out of the way so that Lindsay could enter the hallway with her. They could hear the TV and a few choice curses slipping past Michael’s mouth and could only assume he was playing a game. Meg rushed to the kitchen to dump their groceries while Lindsay followed the noise to her husband.

“Hey babe, what are you doing?” Lindsay asked the obvious question.

“Pounding some kid’s ass.” Michael replied casually. Lindsay raised an inquisitive eyebrow and choked on the surprise laugh that wriggled its way out of her. Michael took a moment to realise what he’d just said. He shook his head as though it would rid the words from the room.

“You knew what I meant.” Michael murmured afterwards.

 

 

“Hey, where’s Gavin?” Meg interrupted them both as she snuck into the room with Michael and Lindsay. Michael stood up as though he had been shocked. The girls watched as he pushed past them and marched up the stairs.

“Where are you going?” Lindsay questioned as her husband disappeared.

“To Gavin, if you’re feeling merciful bring the toilet roll.” The girls shared a look and Lindsay darted back into the kitchen to grab the rolls that she and Meg had bought that day.

“What did you do to him?” Meg asked warily as she followed Michael upstairs.

“Meg, don’t be so quick to judge.” Michael joked, “Gavin did this to himself.” They heard Lindsay coming up the stairs and the girls feared the worst.

 

 

The bathroom door was open and Gavin was looking pitifully down at the floor. He’d tried as best as he could to cover himself up. When Michael had barged in on him, Gavin’s phone had tumbled too far for him to grab it. At the sound of someone approaching Gavin looked up and smiled hopefully at his new audience. Michael was looking smug as ever. The girls were slightly confused.

“Why is Gavin sitting by himself on the toilet?” Lindsay asked.

“Gavin broke a house rule. Gavin let a number two loose in the upstairs bathroom.” Michael informed them. Gavin scowled in his direction.

“Yeah and then Michael left me all alone up here when I know there’s an emergency roll downstairs.” Gavin tattled.

 

 

“Aw, Gavin.” Meg cooed as she shimmied by everyone and snatched the toilet roll from Lindsay’s hand. On her way to the toilet she ripped the plastic from the rolls and chucked one to their pitiful Brit. Gavin grabbed at it gratefully and then looked at everyone.

“Are you going to leave or what?” Gavin asked, exasperated.

“Gavin we’re all more than familiar with your ass.” Lindsay joked. Gavin rolled his eyes.

“Can you please leave?” Gavin begged. Lindsay did as she was told and Meg respectfully followed her. Michael stayed put. Gavin shot him a pointed look but Michael remained.

“Gavvers, what have we learnt today?”Michael asked. Gavin huffed.

“That I shouldn’t have pooped upstairs.” Gavin replied.

 

 

Michael smiled, nodded in confirmation and then mercifully left Gavin alone. Gavin breathed a sigh of relief as the door was closed and he could finally, _finally_ , finish his poop and get cleaned up. He swore to himself that he wouldn’t attempt to poop upstairs ever again… unless they had toilet roll and he knew that he wouldn’t get caught. Gavin flushed the toilet, washed his hands and borrowed some of Meg’s body spray to get rid of the smell before finally picking up his phone and leaving the room.


End file.
